Ya, I know seriously talented people... (no stealing these pix!)

Isn't that amazing?!?!  Holy gracious. AND, he's incredibly kind and told me I could use this one, so MERRY CHRISTMAS!

From one vague awkward-ity to the next...

Ya, it's a word. I said so.

Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed...but it does pay DIVIDENDS of humor, if you're me. :)  We, of the XX genotype, do not particularly enjoy the restroom experience when fellow genotypes are present. Somehow, in our culture, it has become socially custom, nigh unto expected, to prevent one's bathroom experience from beginning until the other person is somehow rendered unable to hear it either by evacuation of premises or some other loud commotion (ie. a flush). Can I get a shout-out from all the females who have experienced something similar? Maybe this is only a problem because our work bathrooms only have two stalls...thereby inherently marking you as a plausible culprit in every incident.

There I go, entering el bano at the PERFECTLY TIMED moment...when the other toilet's flush begins.  Rock on. On this specific occasion, I have no lengthy plans for the event, which turned out to be helpful. Other-Stallmate, as we'll call her, is one of those people who simply doesn't seem to understand the game. Why does it take some people longer to interpret the silence as they....stare in the mirror? Fidget with clothing? Pluck eyebrows?!! I dunno, but seriously lady-whom-I-obviously-work-with...why are you unable to interpret the silence as your cue to leave? Be gone!

Awkward.

This triggers self-evaluation: why do I care? I usually pride myself on being a particularly savvy custom-smasher in this vein...why should I have to wait? Mind you, this quest for restroom independence only began to surface after years of perfecting my patience during prolonged silence-off's, as I like to call them. Like absurd mutations of a Staring Contest, sitting silently...glancing sideways at the stall wall as if to dare the other person to flinch, waiting for their demise--when they give up and leave so you can be there in peace.

Sometimes now, out of courtesy, I will be unnecessarily loud about washing my hands and excessively hasty about drying them just to give someone who is still suffering from the game some peace. But why do I care in the first place? Hmph. Here, it's even gone so far as for people to walk in, see ONE STALL taken and one stall open, only to have people turn around and exit. What is this madness?! So, then I start to laugh at the absurdity, as I'm sure you are already doing. Is it dumb? Yes. Does the situation create heightened feelings of awkward for all involved..yup.

Tossing my used paper towel into the trash, I try to disguise a snigger on my way out, so as to not offend Newcomer-Stallmate presently sitting in silence. "Hee hee. Aamateur...she'll learn," I think to myself as I unwittingly leave the confines of the restroom WHILST adjusting the ladies...and look up just in time to attempt a sort of whimper-smile at Male Coworker as he unsuccessfully averts his deer-in-headlight eyes and darts down the hall.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand...awkward...

On to the next. :)

(for the record, I laughed REALLY hard about the whole thing when I got back to my desk...but that might be the lack of sleep comin back to bite me)

9...

So hard to believe. NINE!























9 years ago today, I was totally floored when my first staff meeting began with a prayer.

9 years ago today, I was completely overwhelmed by the extent of my new job...pssh. If I'd've had any idea.

9 years ago today, I started working here at the Y. I gotta say, I never thought I'd be here this long...and I'm not leaving any time soon.

Even technology loves me today...

Along with all the wonderful people in my life who have made me feel rather special today (a decorated office...still no idea who did that), even technology loves me today. :)

My office (that's right, homemade-handcrafted decor):

Did y'all know Google does this on your birthday?

 And then there's BYU's system. I think this is hilarious. Note the age...

Thank you, everyone!!!

No worries...

Just the EFY peeps...

 

Normal day. Totally normal day...

Inconclusive search...

But still totally worth it. Ha! I was looking for memes about being excited for Conference, especially for the awesome op to hear from JRH again. (Woo hoo!) You know, like the one with the US Olympic swimmers...well, anyway...

Thanks to access to K's FB, I giggled my can off at the following...and yes, it does require an excuse of stupid spelling...

Hahahahahha! AMEN to that. Then I kept scrolling. What is it about this non-stick-figure person that has the ability to make me cackle aloud every time? It's like I can hear the voice in my head. It's always the same...and it's always hilarious. Especially the frustratedness of the last one.

  

Ha!! I know, right? Endure...ugh...well, that's life, eh?  Onward!

What did you do this Summer?

Let's see............
Design a training module for the Church?

Staple a bazillion letters on a fantastic float?  (Our 15th creation!! Holy smokes!!)

 

Make a wedding dress?

.................I did.

Parenting: You're doing it right...

Ha! The top comment on this video is: "Parenting: You're doing it right."  I must say, I'd have to agree...

Dear bikers everywhere...

If you want to be a pedestrian, then act like one. If you want to be a vehicle, then act like one. BUT, the moment you start crossing that line, poppin back and forth....that's the moment you become free range target practice...for me and my gas pedal.

Just sayin.

Tee hee.

I'm guessing only some of those who read this blog will get this. Sadly, it made me laugh SOOO hard at work people asked what I was laughing at...

Congrats J!!!!!!!!!

Hold on world, here comes Elder J!!!!!!  Sa-weeeeeeeeeeeeet! J, I think you should totally take up the challenge to tract in all four states in one day! :)  And I'm SOOOO excited for the opportunities awaiting you in Farmington, New Mexico!!!!!!  Come on, September....

Congratulations J, SO SOS OS OS OS SOSOSOSSOSOSOSO proud. So proud. Bah! Be still my little aunt heart...

IMPATIENCE...

So many things...SO many things I'm impatient about right now. Impatient for J, impatient for my roommate, impatient for me....bah!

To a sweet, sweet woman...

The Church has you to thank for such an amazing prophet leading us. Thank you, Sister Monson. You've certainly earned your rest in eternity.

Moms

Thank you to my nieces, actually, for showing me this...cause I laughed my can off. This is awesome. As are all mothers.

Ever heard of Antofagasta?

Me neither. Til last night. Dear Chile Antofagasta Mission: hang on folks, you have NO idea who's comin your way in September...

D, I'm SOOOO proud of you and happy and excited and all sorts of emotions!!! Remember, watch out for yetti man/garbage cans down there. ;)  Seriously though, we've laughed together, cried together, and we shall continue to do so from a good long distance for the next two years. Make me proud, buddy. Love you.

(Stay tuned for the next one coming shortly...)

Whoa....

Amazed. Did they do all of my favorite songs? Nope. Did they do a song I hate? Yes. If I could bleep it out, I would. BUT, just the talent it takes to mesh and transition and...whoa.

Few things in life...

Make me laugh SO hard that a bad day changes into a good one almost instantaneously. THIS, however, totally does. :)

Happy Easter to ME!

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.....

HECK ya. :) That's right. Don't you think they just scream CTR 4 teacher?? Tee-hee.

The linguist in me...

...is shrieking, "False cognate, FALSE COGNATE!!!" Uh...the 12 year old inside me is giggling her can off...quite the opposition, I tell ya.

Oi. I may as well be sitting next to Joey and Rachel at Ross's keynote. Ha!

.......Xan and Kalliope: am I nuts? Wiki-friggin-pedia says this should be termed "false friend" instead of cognate. Have I really slipped that far??? Please help my crippled linguistic soul...

'Nuf said. Ha!

HEHHEEEEEEE, because its Friday...

And because this is awesome...

Comedy Central Stand-Up
Get More: Jokes,Joke of the Day,Funny Jokes

I cleaned out a closet...

Did you know that when Stacey and Clinton throw away someone's awful, unfitting clothing and they have an intense emotional reaction...that's NORMAL?  Did you know that? I didn't. I always thought, whatever, those people are waaaaay too connected to their clothing. Well, this is me, chewing on my own words/medicine, whatever idiom strikes your fancy...

I wish I had before pictures. But I don't. I only have after shots. BUT, when I finally mastered my feelings about getting rid of the clothes I didn't really need, I just started chucking things on the floor of my closet. And when I was done, the level on the ground was ABOVE the shoe holder you see below. Honestly, I was standing on it, and I was higher than that.

I just have to say, thank you to those who have been so helpful and supportive. No idea why it was so hard, but holy gracious. I had such an effusive reaction. I was a mess. BUT, when I was done, I felt SOO relieved.

Seriously, I tried to do the immensity of the situation some justice here, but instead it just looks like a crime scene from when Jabba the Hutt apparently died in my room...  BUT, honestly, the pile was so huge. It covered the floor in the pic and at it's tallest, it was probably about 3.5 to 4 feet tall.

Mucho, mucho excess gone. WHEW.

I know. Random.

In case anyone was wondering...

My vote for funniest, plausible/accidental double entendre homophone in the English language:

KNOTTY

Hands down.

Nearly. Died. Laughing.

That is all.

GOAL ACCOMPLISHED!!!

HAPPY B-DAY, K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, once upon a very very long time ago, when I was but a wee little 6th grader, I had a bad habit. I bit my fingernails. Now, not your normal fingernail biting...like, my nails NEVER grew out before I would attack them. My mom tried everything. EVERYTHING. Even the seriously nasty crap they make that you can paint on your kids fingertips to make them taste disgusting. Everything. (Didn't work. I just got really good at peeling that shiz off real fast so I could get back to my fingernail....so odd...)

Anywho, enter my lovely sister. I looked (right, as if that's actually past tense) up to her in SOOO many ways. Round about this time, all my sisters got married...at once. But that's a different story. The thing is, K had the most gorgeous fingernails on the planet! Seriously, they were ALWAYS stunning. I was SOOOO jealous of her. I would tell her that constantly. I have memories of sitting with her as she would paint her luxuriously long nails any color, and they always looked beautiful. So, that year, for my birthday, she gave me my very own nail kit. And she told me....(now that I'm an adult, I understand there's a very good chance my mother put her up to it)

"If you want nails like mine, you will have to stop chewing on them. Work on it now, you'll get there someday."

Fast forward 20 friggin years. :)  Check these puppies out!

I know it doesn't mean much to anybody else, but the other night when I got done filing them down I looked down at my hand and I nearly stinkin teared up! They look just like I remember hers looking...except she has better nails, but who's really counting, right? Apparently I CAN be a grown up! :)  I know, those of you that spend your time changing diapers and coaching soccer are probably thinking, WHAT?! But, hey, it's life around here.

(Hahahaha, I just realized that hand pic looks like what most girls post with a ring on a different finger. SORRY if I gave any of your a heart attack!  No, no I'm not engaged. When it ever happens, I promise y'all will hear me (or my mother) screaming it from the rooftops before you read it on here.)

That moment...

...when HF opens the windows of Heaven just a teensy crack and let's you get a glimpse. For that, I am so incredibly grateful. Thank you, HF. Thank you for patience. Thank you for guidance. Thank you for my Savior. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Ghost, and for changing it from being still and small to a loud voice in my ear when I really need to listen. Most of all, thank you so much for explanations. Explanations that come at the oddest times, but in the perfect moment for me. That is all.

Sometimes the world is made of ice...

And sometimes when the world is made of ice, I shouldn't walk.

Sometimes, when the world is made of ice and I shouldn't walk, I have to walk.

Sometimes, when the world is made of ice and I shouldn't walk, but I have to walk, I fall under the parked car next to mine.

That doesn't even do my arm justice.

I won't post the other half of the damage, though I'm sure it'll be a doozy when it finally starts to heal.

OUCH.