Monday, August 15, 2011

In the words of the fortune cookie...

Confession: sometimes the fortune cookie gods scare me.

Simply put, I swear they're WATCHING me. Bah! No, I'm not crazy. But seriously, I'm quite certain that the percentage of freakishly applicable fortunes I open is WAAAYYY higher than normal. (I know. My hypothesis is flawed given that my sample size is probably larger than most people too...I do love Chinese food a lot...and...I'm a nerd.) Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those astrological nutcases that reads my horoscope and twists my reality to make it make sense. It's not every single time, but after the first double-take-requiring fortune, you kinda blink. After the second, you kinda glance over your shoulder. When the track record reaches "ritual", you get a little shifty! I started keeping them. They're actually taped to my desk at work so I can remember them. They're shocking! I feel I can only do them justice by including the ACTUAL circumstance surrounding some doozies.

Por ejemplo:
  • (no foreshadowing context, but still...) "Be careful. You are easily tempted." Who me?
  • In the midst of whining about battling to be healthy: "If you want something, earn it." Bite me, fortune cookie gods.
  • During a particularly difficult time dealing with loneliness: "You are admired by many." Ok...I take it back...
  • Feeling drained after trying to help some friends through some tough times: "You are realistic and others can relate to you." Thanks. I needed that.
  • While successfully procrastinating work for my thesis (back in the day): "It's time to gather info for the project that you've delayed." Whoa...are you kidding me? Are you watching me?
  • The NIGHT I got the message about the Rome Italy Temple Visitors' Center: "You have the urge and the ability for major accomplishments." This is getting ridiculous...
Which brings me to the most recent addition:
  • "You have a charming way with words and should write a book."
Oi yoi yoi...


  1. So how is that book coming along? I never read the fortunes....I guess I should!

  2. You are KIDDING me!!! Unbelievable! I mean, I think you should write a book, too, but seriously fortune cookie??!