Autonomy...and the Nazi Bathroom

Seriously? Today, I had to run to the bookstore on campus, and while there, Mother Nature called. So, I headed into one of the many women's (couch-equipped) restrooms in the good ol' WILK. Now, I'm proud to report that I've been potty-trained for nigh unto 29 years now. I'm a master at such complicated tasks as deciding how much TP to use and even flushing the toilet. However, apparently not any longer. I sat there astonished as I read "automatic/automatique" on the toilet paper dispenser...that's right. Our right to choose the length of (or quantity of squares of) feather-weight 3-ply has been revoked, folks. (While we're on it, it doesn't matter if its 10 ply if each "ply" is so see-through a mere cough in its general direction could rip it to shreds.) So, given the rationed amount, I composed myself narrowly missing the automatic vortex-flush that began as knees straightened. Sheesh. Next time, I will be faster...

My autonomy continued to dissipate as I semi-patiently waited for the soap dispenser to register my hand awaiting it, and the schizophrenic faucet to scald and then subsequently freeze the lather off of my hands. Really? I used to be an accomplished luke-warm temperature...ist. Dang.

What really got me though? The final act in the Nazi Bathroom. The paper towel dispenser. Obviously, in such a non-autonomic place, this would spit out a predetermined-length towel too. I waived my hand repeatedly at it. Waved and waved and waved...to no avail.

What? No automation? You mean, I actually have to exert effort to get a paper towel?!?! Here, at the end of such an agency-sucking experience, they expect dripping hands to fumble the already wet spinner-thingy (that only works occasionally) in order to get some sand paper to dry my hands on. Hmmmmm.........

(Btw, how come only the French visitors at the WILK get the forewarning? What about the rest of the foreigners...shouldn't they know about the non-need for decision-making too?)

(Ooooooooooooh, and what happens if the "automatique" gives out, eh? What then? What if my TP is being held hostage by the dysfunctional dispenser??! Pretty sure I'd go all kamikaze at it...take no prisoners...just enough to satisfy my TP needs....)