Today, I found out that one my friends has joined the ranks. These ranks aren't anything you'd wish upon your worst enemy, but alas, some of us end up in there anyway. So, when I found out that said friend has now experienced the qualifying procedure for the first time, I had to commiserate. Oh how I have been there...multiple times. BUT, the silver lining? So has Dave Barry. And OH. MY. GOSH. It cannot be expressed any clearer than this. Enjoy.
Sheer Comedic Brilliance
(I must warn you: if you are a member of the ranks, do not attempt to eat or drink anything whilst reading. Chances are, it will be involuntarily expectorated from somewhere, as laughter is sure to ensue without warning.)
(If you aren't a member: count your many blessings (one-by-one works best). You will laugh, but sadly, you will not be able to understand completely. Wait...scratch that. It is in no way sad...lucky dog.)