Fab Foto: gold medal sleddin...

Sledding down a hill is for amateurs. We, when there is enough snow on the ground, ramp up the fun by tying multiple saucers to the digger, while dad cruises around the snow covered field at 40 mph, flipping figure 8s that feel like donuts as we hold on for dear life. It. Is. Awesome. E, as we'll call him, likes to put you in the ruts, ditches, or whatever else might prove hilarious, as he goes along. Friends, this was no exception.

Let me 'splain...

For those of you not yet howling with laughter at the sight (or the memory), let me break it down for you:

1. The wiggly orange shreds in the foreground are actually the busted twine connection, having just snapped under the pressure
2. On the right, the under-side of the electric green saucer, mostly obscured by the speed-induced cloud of spraying snow
3. On the left, my head. In the snow. Speed upon impact: 80 bajillion mph.
   

Pretty sure I had snow in my brain after that one. As I recall, I was howling along stuck in one of the mid-field irrigation ditches grunting aloud with every speed bump. Suddenly, E thought he'd be funny and flipped a U-y, without slowing down. Naturally, as any former crack-the-whip master knows, the person on the outside catches the brunt. Well, that's me. Catching the brutal centripetal force. With my face.

The kids laughed raucously. I think R laughed so hard she nearly fell out the back of the tractor after snapping this action beauty. I even caught dad giggling his kiester off once I finally came up for air.

Yowza. Good times. As you can see by the picture at the right, my face recovered from the snow-burn nicley. :) jk

(This was a few years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday.)

Beautiful things make me happy...

Once upon a time, I got a great gift from my mom and sisters for my birthday: my Christmas tree. During our trip to Hobby Lobby, I wasn't quite sure what I wanted...classic Christmas colors? Trendier? What to do?

While I sat in an conundrum, my sister R started gathering choices, opening them, AND DECORATING THE EMPTY DISPLAY TREES so that I could really see and decide. It was hilarious, but it worked! I fell in love with the one that matched my living room: green, blue, and brown. I've had it now for three years, but this year I finally remembered to take pictures AND I have a place to put them! So, enjoy!!

Below are some highlights...

My beautiful tree:

This beauty was actually found by my sister L,
she was mocking me...I loved it:

This was actually an accident
(clicked while the camera was facing the floor), but I like it:

This garland could not be more me.
It is chartreuse and GORGEOUS:

This one is my 2nd favorite, the two-tone green is SO fabulous:

These shattered light blue glass ones are STUNNING.
Pretty sure they weren't meant to be ornaments,
but we couldn't pass them up.
They just perch nicely in the branches:

The blue snowflakes are AMAZING:

This photo is jammed. It shows off the lovely blue teardrop
ones with silver sparkles, the lighter brown ones,
and the darker brown decorative picks:

Love love LOVE the dark brown sparkly/beady ones:
Every time I look at these little green filler ones I'm reminded
of the crab apples from Grandpa G's tree.
Also, check the awesome dark brown stripey ones:

THE KICKER
My sister K came around the corner where we were
decorating and said, "I found the perfect thing, but
I'm not sure it really goes..." She showed my mom
(the final decision maker), who said, "She HAS to have
those." Yes, your eyes don't deceive you. Those are, in fact,
sparkly football ornaments on my stankin' awesome tree:

True to form, the presents match the tree (mom's fault):

NEW this year, I was given a big ol' tree shaped jello
mold recently. I have no conceivable need for that
much jello, so I decided to be crafty...
I put some extra decorations in it! Love it:

Lest you worry about the random color combo,
it matches the room beautifully (check the rug):

Hooray for stunning gifts from wonderful people!

Rattus Gymicus...the She-gog!

**If you are happily operating under the impression that the author of this blog is without a mean streak, we strongly suggest you scroll down to the pretty blankie instead of reading on...**

Few occasions in life actually spur the instantaneous frothing of a blog post while in the midst of the actual experience, but tonight...friends, tonight was one big huge freakin' exception! Truly, there came a time on this eve when I feared that my head was in danger of exploding, much like Chandler when his hastily chosen resolution causes him to exclaim, "Must MOCK SOMETHING!!!!"

For some time now, a few close friends have awaited a coming post entitled "Rattus Gymicus" (an exposé on how gyms in Utah tend to resemble bars outside of the bubble). Just as Rattus Norvegicus started the Plague (thank you Rachel Greene), I am afeared a similar pandemic has begun to infest our beloved P-town. Many a trip to the gym affords oodles of blog fodder about scantily-clad, mini floozy-ditzes who are undeniably feigning interest in the gym furnishings. Rather, their all-too-obvious sites are set on the flexing lats, biceps, and glutes galore...all lain as cheesy traps for said Gym Rats (pun completely intended) who repeatedly snatch glimpses of their reflections as they prance past mirror after mirror. Careful there, honey. I'm currently suppressing the urge to shot-put this 5-0 right into your dangly Claire's earrings, sweet cheeks. Alas, I digress...

The usual attendees of Aquacardio on Wednesday nights are just as you might imagine. Accompanying hot tub, sauna, and steam room keep the place crawling with "the best" Provo has to offer (scary), but tonight SHE took my interpretation of Gym Rat to inexplicable heights. As she scampered into the room, the ensuing deafening silence stopped even the lap-swimmers in their tracks...I mean...wake. I am quite certain that no female mammal should be allowed to "scamper" in a string bikini...

As the night played out, I quickly dubbed her the Aragog of Gym Rats, as I'm certain the sheer magnitude (and level of fear instilled) is comparable to that experienced by Harry and Ron. Yes, folks, medically overenlarged-ness in size A fabric clippings...DOING AQUACARDIO. Oh-Ma-Ha! (a clever ingeniosity from Miss J, employing the ever-entertaining 'voice-the-acronym' option, much like "Fuh-HEee" for FHE) As she entered the pool she shouted a warning to the rest of us, "These bottoms are too big, so they may just come off. Watch out." Um...I tried not to become lost in the relative anatomic impossibility of that mess as the class began. The teacher actually eventually offered to tie her top tighter for her, but had to enlist the help of four other ladies to contain those flotation devices. Seriously! I blew off snippets of the pressure during the next hour by muttering "OH-MA-HA" to myself while everything male within a 10 mile radius suffered unending paralysis of the eyeballs as though they could all hear the same indistinguishable voice repeatedly yelling, "SQUIRREL!!!!!!!"

Aragog, herself, added to the ludicrosity level in her overly-breathy voice, "I'm so tired, I did ballet for years..." Huh? (Did those years accumulate into this moment?) "I really shouldn't have done those three hours of weights earlier..." What the?? "Is it alright if I develop my arabesque all the way?" OH. MA. HA.

That was it, folks. I nearly drowned with that last one as I collapsed with laughter mid-half-sumberged-jumping-jack. I couldn't handle it anymore. The She-gog discovered my sanity breaking-point today. Between the disgusting pander from the unwashed miscreants of the peanut gallery and the inappropriate moaning and wailing issuing from the inexcusable Mother Rat herself, I lost it... I was thinking, "You're not fooling any of us, skank. If those newly purchased toys were, indeed, real, you'd've mastered the multi-layer encasement by now, just like the rest of us in this class. No flaunting needed." But that seemed a bit cruel, as it was her first day, and all that ballet really seemed to be catching up with her...

No worries. None of it even scathed her. When I left, snorting uncontrollably, she was noisily ranting to a lovely, yet terrified and trapped in the hot-tub, German woman about how her bazungas were actually real, and how they were such a bother when she was eight, having matured early due to all the extra hormones in the mass amounts of cow's milk she'd consumed as a child... And, no, I'm not kidding.

I was rendered speechless all the way home (ask my roommate)! Therefore, I had to get that out there. Whew. In the future, I will try to refrain from posting such horrendous happenings on here. Uh...and, perhaps when I awake tomorrow, Charitable Karen will have rejoined us...

**If the pop-culture laden vernacular bogged you down, might I refer:
FRIENDS, Harry Potter, UP!, and 10 Things I Hate About You (the movie)**

Don't ask.... (just enjoy)

(Yes, this is a fantastically professional photo shoot, replete with the sheets on my bed as the background...awesome. Sorry about the two completely randomly colored photos. The majority are right.)


(Yes, that's John Deere fabric.)

(Yes, that's minkee on the back.)

(Yes, I ended up with too much of the John Deere fabric, so this is the extra receiving blanket.)

Many many many thanks to those who made this possible...
which is pretty much my whole family.

Picking up educational dignitaries...

So, tonight I will head to the SLC airport to pick up a visiting scholar for my department as a PhD student. I'm not nervous about it in anyway. Those who know me, know that just because someone is a dean of whatever at U of Alberta doesn't mean I won't be able to entertain the lady all the way back to Provo. Whatev.

It's the picking up part that threw me a bit. I thought...what am I supposed to do? Stand in the waiting/welcoming area with a paper with her name printed on it like they do in the movies? (Then I had to suppress the overwhelming urge to fake an accent/barely speaking English problem when I see her...) And then, as I printed off the big ol' sign I intend to hold up when I get there tonight, I envisioned one of the funniest thoughts of my week...

I pictured myself standing there, yelling out her name like Bob does when he finally gets off the bus in New Hampshire looking for Dr. Leo Marvin, "Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Lllllllllleeeeeeeeeeoooooooooo Mmmmmmaaaaaaaaarrrrrrvvvvvvvvvviiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!" Can you just imagine me yelling her name out like that at the airport?! I started cackling out loud in my cubie, all by my estranged-lookin self. Seriously. Comedy.

And then, I wasted the last 10 minutes searching in vain of a clip of that moment online. BAH. There aren't any. The closest thing I could find was this clip of the moment that follows. Also equally hilarious. As are all the other clips I found....

Holy Hilarious Little Girl...(no pun intended)

Here I sat, trying to figure out what to blog about since it's been a while... Then I clicked on K-Fish's blog and started laughing out loud at work!!! And so, dear friends, I shall pass it along to you. Mostly because I couldn't stop giggling. This chick is entertaining...

The story of Jonah from Corinth Baptist Church on Vimeo.

(PS. Love that her dad (?) is laughing at her in the back.)

HAHAHAHAH. "We've been eating too much...."

HP7pt1...two thumbs way up!

Yup, that's me saying GO SEE IT. If you are a Harry Potter fan, go see this movie. (If you are not, you will most likely be totally lost.) I thought they did a great job. There was only one scene that could be classified with "nudity", and it IS actually something from the book. It's like 10 seconds, they don't show anything extensive. (If you must, close your eyes when the Horcrux Harry and Hermione start talking and open them again after the Horcrux is destroyed. I went back to the book when I got home, and, interestingly enough...I'm pretty sure this is how the rest of the world read this part of it. Just not us.)

Very, very well done. It is INTENSE, I probably wouldn't let my 10 year old nephew see it...maybe the 11 year old one if he had read the books. It is the first half of the book, and when it ends you WILL want more. The entire theater groaned when the credits rolled.

Good stuff...is it July yet?

(image from digitaltrends.com)

**Interesting...watched it again the other night....'twas a bit more racy than I recalled, but still not as bad as some movies. Judge for yourself...

Better late than never... (pic overload)

I know its been over two weeks, but here you go. Holy hilarious, Batman! Kailee, my roommate, did a great job with my F.R.I.E.N.D.S. themed party: replete with mugs of hot cocoa (OJ for me, ha!), and baked goods like it was Central Perk and Scene It--Friends going on in the living room. Lots of fun people, and another killer cake! Much enjoyment. Thanks to all.

Kailee, the beautiful hostess, and the spread
Me and the freakin' awesome cake
(I need someone down here in P-town that will say,
"Kare, go fix your hair"...oh well)

Yes, it deserves a close-up
(green on purpose...just for me)

Can you tell Kailee loves the camera?
(Please ignore the bottom half of this pic)

Everybody there at the end of the party...
so many awesome people that I love
(please notice Jay smelling Shalayne's hair....ha!)

(From me, clockwise: Isaac, Sara W, Krista, Maizy, Tracy,
Christina, Jennica, Angela, Josh, Steve, Nate,
Whitney, Lorelie, Karianne, Matt, Dan, Brian, Emily Anne,
Imal, Emily, Jay, Shalayne, Kailee, Jess's friend, Jess)

Everyone staring at me! If you can see,
I am laughing my guts out...uncomfortable.

FRIENDS: Christina, Lenora, Dan, Nate, Imal,
and Wes...apparently scared...

FRIENDS: Camilla (roommate), Megan, Nate, me, Jennica,
Sara, and Karianne

FRIENDS: Me and Brian
(He loves me, even though he looks slightly in pain about it...)

FRIENDS: One of the KKKs (my favorites):
Krista, Karianne, and Kailee
(Love these girls and their FRIENDSness.)

FRIENDS: Me and Matt
(Yes, I know, this picture of me SUCKS, but I LOVE this guy.
Had to put him on here.)

FRIENDS: Isaac and Whitney
(LOVE these two.)

FRIENDS: Me and Shan
(HA! I love this picture because she's telling me about some ridiculously stupid boy and it is fiercely obvious how I feel about it. LOVE this girl and her kickboxing class.)

FRIENDS: Me and my Gummy Bear Boys
(Ahhh, the Gummy Bear Boys...once upon a time I had a bag of gummy bears in my purse...which I decided to snack on in church--don't judge. Cut to random strangers' hands sitting on my shoulders asking to share. Yup, I fed them through sacrament meeting, expecting to turn around to people I knew. NOPE! That's how I met Dave, Danny, and Crum (not pictured), and they became the Gummy Bear boys.)

And last but not least:

Check out these gems!! Love em! Every girl should have a pair of burgundy suede ruffled peep-toe stilettos...

Here's to another great year!

Few things in life are this cute

Seriously? Good gravy, y'all gotta watch this. I couldn't help but share. Click below...

(**WARNING: this may make you want a dog...or a child...**)


Cute Little Boy and His Dog


P.S. I promise to post about the b-day bash soon.

My day.

10/29/1929: arguably one of the worst days recorded in history. Did you know the stock market crashed on October 29th? That's right. Black Tuesday, the beginning of the Great Depression, was the 29th. (I didn't know this until like 6 months ago.)

10/29/1979: arguably one of the best days recorded in history. :) Karen Ella Cottle graced this earth with her presence 50 years later. I like to think I'm the equal-but-opposite force for good in retaliation for that black mark back in the twenties. Ha! I'm so presumptuous.....

I'd like to take a moment to thank all the wonderful people who have made this day great throughout the years. I am sure there is no way I can remember all 31 of them, but I will attempt to highlight a few of the memories:

Thank you to all my childhood friends from those important years of my life who can all claim their status as professional Halloween BINGO players. (Gotta love the ever-present orange and black birthday decor and jack-o-lantern cheese sandwiches.)

Thanks, mom, for all the beyond beautiful cakes with perfect decorations, little collectible figurines (that I still cherish), and sometimes even the bubblegum border. Thank you for countless trips to dancing and hours of loud music. Thank you for teaching me so many vital skills. Thank you for guiding me through tough lessons in loving, forgiving, and enduring. Thank you for being an example of righteousness, generosity, and support.

Thanks, dad, for baptizing me during one of the best last-weekends-in-October in history. What 8 year old wouldn't canonize being baptized, celebrating a birthday, getting her ears pierced, trick-or-treating, and being confirmed all in one 72-hour period?! Seriously. Greatest. Weekend. Ever. Thank you for living your life in such a way that made it cool to be "Mr. Cottle's daughter." Thank you for your willingness to bless not only me, but also my friends at the drop of a hat/any hour of the night. Thank you for being an example of diligence, fairness, and endless hard work.

Thank you to all my siblings for making my 20th birthday WAY better than expected. Frustrated at the vestiges of pending adulthood, I sulked my way into Lee's Marketplace to work all evening on 10/29/99 instead of going to eat/celebrate with the rest of my family at Formosa. The tear duct walls were nearing breaking point when I reached the breakroom...and was greeted by the greatest sight ever! My wonderful mother, anticipating my mood, secretly delivered a huge "birthday cake" of cupcakes that read H-A-P-P-Y B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y K-A-R-E-N-!-!-! in green icing, green balloons, and a sign that read, "Take one, and tell Karen Happy Birthday every time you see her." Words fail.

As if that weren't enough, THEY ALL CAME to Lee's later that night. They brought me Formosa and gifts to open right there, and then they sang (beautifully) to me right there at the cash register. Best. Family. Ever.

Thank you to all my friends and family who made the seemingly impossible task of surviving the rough "growing up" years plausible, memorable, and enjoyable! There are SO MANY of you, I can't even being to try to name you. From the delivered flowers to the surprise parties, from the Ute football field cake with bendy-straw uprights to the BYU blue football helmet on last year's cake, from the endless delightful lunches/dinners to the insanity of a night at the warehouse full of trampolines...

I. Love. You. All of you. You make me...me. :)

And so, here's to many many more. Most definitely off to a good start with the FRIENDS-themed party planned for Sunday evening...

Love you all.

me

(Please, if you have a fond memory of a particular year, include it in a comment! I love having my memory jogged for me. :) )

What do you do in your spare time?

You're right. For one Karen Ella, "spare time" is a mythical wonder that resides excruciatingly out-of-reach like marital bliss...or smaller bazungas... But alas, at times Creative Karen is called to the rescue, and the hours of 5pm - 4am are awarded a new label: spare time.

It all began with a simple text around 2pm a few Fridays ago...

Ingredients:

• one roommate in charge of the BYU Graduate Student Society
• one Homecoming parade
• one professor's SmartCar
• one sketch of a whim on a napkin
  
• NO TIME in the life of graduate students to consider it until the night before

Mix together in one medium-sized Pyrex...living room. Add 12 large foam core boards, a splash of huffing-worthy glue, navy broadcloth, a sewing machine, shiny braid, killer knot-tying skill, and a pinch of insomnia. Shake well until 4 am...VOILA!

SKILLZ!


Left a mark on the 2010 pa-to-the-rizz-ade, yes I did...


We finally went to bed at 4 am, lethally giddy at the fact that it had actually worked. But, we were meeting the car in the parking lot at 8 am for the moment of truth. (Yes, it was concocted without the actual car.) SO, we enlisted Awesome Isaac and his truck...and then I proceeded to freeze what is left of my keister off whilst riding in the truck bed, clinging to my precious, random creation at 7 freakin 30 in the morning for the 5 mile ride!! I have no idea how long it is, but it seemed to last FOREVER. Isaac had to go slowly enough to prevent the hat from taking flight. Holy cold!


That's me on 3.5 hours of sleep after a horridly long week (borderline maniacal). But it was a HIT. Could not have fit the car more perfectly. Get it?

• Graduate Students (Society)
  
• SmartCar
• Throwin' Smarties
• Awesome.
  

Done and done. They lined up to spread the goodness all over P-town. I took my lovely self home. And died.

Like I said, SKILLZ.

Does anyone else...

• smile at the sight of fall leaves?
• enjoy How To Train A Dragon much more than expected?
• savor the moments spent with a bag of Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips?
• dance a jig of joy when hoodie weather finally returns?
• hyperventilate at the aging effects of a nephew's call to ask about APA citation format?

and finally (which was actually the first, post-provoking thought)

• wait until the last possible infinitesimal moment to make the trek to the lavatory? (What IS that?!)
  

Just wonderin...

Today, if I could...

(inspired by RG and The Blur)

Today, if I could do anything my heart desired...

I would sit on my parents' deck swing, watching the yellowed leaves fall, enjoying the gentle waft of Cache Valley in the fall. I would hug each and every one of my nieces and nephews and try to fill in with hugs the places where words fail to express how much I love them. I would go for a leisurely bike ride. I would not have any assignments, papers, or research to worry about because I would be Ph.inisheD. already.

Instead, I will sniffle and cough my way through the first of this year's colds in Utah County, trying not to break under the sheer weight of the enormous mountains on my plate yet to be traversed...

Someday...

5 years, 11 months

I know, you're thinking...why not wait the other month? But, I needed to get this out today. Today, I have been at my job for 5 years and 11 months. HOLY. MOLY. Can you say unexpected?! Yowza. 5 years and 11 months in this insanity they call Utah County...sheesh.

Here's the part that engendered this post: I am just beginning the PhD. In all honesty, it will take about 4 years (hopefully not too much longer than that). 4 years. On top of 5 years and 11 months. That's right, folks...I will be here for 10 freakin' years of my lifetime. What the!? That's shockingly close to 1/3 of the total, people! How did that happen??

I gotta say, when I relented and came down here, I must have missed the fine print regarding signing on for a decade. Wonder what else I missed...

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Strike 1: the Madonna homage episode last season
Strike 2: the Britney and the nastiness
Strike 3: the OBVIOUS veiled insults to religion, especially those that have a stance on same sex anything....

The kicker: the missionaries and their perfectly-timed example tonight.

The result: I am I'm done with Glee. Sad. It WAS seriously entertaining, but that one was just a bit TOO far on the offensive side.

I'm out. Peace easy, Glee...I have more important/right things to focus on.

Could He love me more?

I think not. Miracle #401931257: my new visiting teacher, LJ, who also happens to be the administrator OVER ASL AT THE MTC. That's right. You do the math.

Thank you, once again, Heavenly Father, for reassuring me of your ever-present position at the helm.

Onward, once again...

I. Love. President Monson.

There isn't much more to say...as those words house every expression I can drum up to encompass how I feel about Our Prophet.

Oh my...good guga-muga...

So freakin' excited.



Can't even put it into words...

Once upon a time...30 years ago...

Someone stole my dolly in nursery. Rude. So I bit her. In the eyeball. (That's right. The eyeball.) And we've been best friends ever since. Happy 3-1, Rachie Kay! Here's to 31+ more. Can't imagine my life without you.

Me

Three GAs in one day...it's not even October yet!

What a wonderful day! Regional conference + fireside = Beck, Scott, Holland AND Packer all in one day. Sheesh. Spoiled.

If I could write every inspired word said, the world would be a better place, and this blog would serve a greater purpose. Instead, it only houses my meager thoughts...

Sister Beck: "You're doing better than you think you are." "We can do better than we're doing."

Elder Holland: "The forces of righteousness will ALWAYS prevail." "This is the work of God and requires the best we have to give."

Elder Packer: "From now on, its going to be different AND harder." "We learn in the temple that the adversary has his limits. He can only do what we allow him to do."

Elder Scott's feelings about his wife and sweet children beyond the veil: too tender to repeat. The rest of his marriage advice: HILARIOUS.

With the Spirit so strong today, I was led to an entry in my journal exactly six months ago. While the kids sitting next to me stared at the crazy lady with tears running down her cheeks, I most certainly needed reminding...

"Yesterday, I opened the letter that said, 'You have been admitted into the PhD program at Brigham Young University.' Oh the emotions. I mean, I guess I knew this, but oh my... This is so real now. It is Heavenly Father lovingly urging me down this path, a path I would never ever had chosen myself. There is such peace in remembering/knowing that He knows all. This is His doing...I am simply the instrument. Oh how humbling... he must help me. He must. I'm so inadequate. So trivial. But with Him, I guess I am to make a difference...only with Him.

I shook with mixed emotions for about an hour last night. Excitement. Nervousness. Overwhelmedness. Humility. Fright. Jubilation. Exhaustion. Worry. Anticipation. I know I am supposed to do it. I have for a long time. But now, it really must be done...

"Press on, Diligent Karen, press on." Remember the many lessons and miracles you have been privy to thus far. Remember how much more meaningful your life is when you truly allow the Savior to pilot it. To quote President Baker, "Blessed are the hard core." Take it and make a life of it. Shoulder the goal with energy. Keep going, keep trudging...on the way to being Ph.inisheD. with what the Lord has put before you.

Me"

...........................Amen.

T-shirt buckles...Banana clips...Leg-warmers...HA!

Inspire by C-dawg's chat status: "Hey Mickey, I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight after Jessie's Girl started St. Elmo's Fire in the Danger Zone." After I laughed out loud and subsequently rocked out silently as each chorus raged in my head, this blog post began spontaneously frothing at the...keys. :) Read on, my once-neon-and-probably-spandex-clad-80s-product friends...

Scene: Karen's room, assisting her roommate (24) trying to figure out how to dress for the 80s party that night...

"You could peg the jeans."
"What?"
"........." (Registering the weight of my age now beginning with a 3...)
"Is 'peg' a verb?"

Bah! I am not that old! But, yes, I had to explain, nay, demonstrate how to peg-leg jeans. I tell you... Senior-citizen feelings aside, the brainstorming of 80s fashion brought back some FANTASTIC memories. For one fleeting moment, I thought about posting self-portraits of yours truly modeling the following beautiful disasters...but, alas, pride won out. :) Instead, please direct your attention to the following list. (If you knew me back then, you're probably laughing at the flash-bulb 4-H memory now emblazoned across your mind's eye...my apologies...)

Neon. Taffeta. Polka-dot. Hair bows--shoelace variety, etc. Rainbow Brite. Cut-nylon bracelets. Bill and Ted. Boondoggle. Jewel-tone tights. Jelly shoes. Guess?. Esprit. Ratting. Trapper-keepers. Stirrups. Thriller. Whitney Houston. Air Supply. Chicago. Hair-band power ballads. (Oh, the music.) Vogue. Hammer pants. T-shirt knots. Girbaud jeans crotch tag. Cricket. Karate Kid.

Sheesh, I almost couldn't type fast enough...this could go on forever. How about y'all put some of your faves in the comments, eh? Bless the 80s...and please bless that the fashion never returns to full force...ever again.

Peace.

Solace

(Thanks to great friends who find quotes tailored to my self- proclaimed incapacities...)

“When in situations of stress we wonder if there is any more in us to give, we can be comforted to know that God, who knows our capacity perfectly, placed us here to succeed. No one was foreordained to fail or to be wicked. When we have been weighed and found wanting, let us remember that we were measured before and we were found equal to our tasks..."
--Elder Neal A Maxwell

Precisely what I needed to read today, Kalliope. Thanks!

Are you a good rant, or a bad rant?

May I take a moment to publicly berate the Karen Ella?

BAH! Sometimes it is good when something "never faileth"...like charity...good. Opposingly, it "never faileth" that I inevitably spill OJ on myself when I wear this particular cute white shirt...bad. What is that?! Argh! Though, I am the un-proud owner of an excuse for this proverbial "hole in yer lip" issue, that does not mean I like it. I get so tired of my bottom lip spontaneously absolving itself of all duties mid-drink...ESPECIALLY when I'm wearing this shirt!! (Perhaps a certain jaw-missing gentleman on other side has a particular abhorrence for the color white, much like Grandpa G and his disdain for yellow...though I never quite understood why he always wore it if he hated it so...)

Which brings me to my love for Tide-To-Go. Brilliance. In every sense of the word. L.O.V.E. it. Nigh unto the brilliance behind Magic Eraser (absolutely magical in my mind). To the quintessential, picked-on-whilst-growing-up-nerdy inventors of said brilliance, I say: the likes of Edison, Franklin, Whitney, and Ford must be smiling down with utmost approval. And I emulate that smile every time you save me from a day of yellow spotted-ness on my already-too-much-attention-getting "shelf." My sincerest thanks.

Moral of the story--
So long as I, Karen Ella, am in possession of this lovely white shirt: stock in Tide = a sure bet.

O. M. H.(ilarious)

Once upon a time, one of my sisters blessed us with a VHS of a Japanese game show she got from one of her roommates. I was relatively young, but I remember the I'm-laughing-so-hard-I-can't-breathe feeling like it was yesterday. I think the good ol' US of A could use more of this in our "game show" culture...like WipeOut...THAT is funny stuff. Holy hilarity at its best. Brought to you via my awesome friend Melissa.

As always, watch the entire thing:

Awesome.

Seriously? Already?

Uh...August? Are you freakin kidding me? Sheesh. I know all my parent-friends are thinking, heck yes, crazy! Back to school! But seriously? I haven't even had time to recuperate from the insanity of EFY yet...Ed Week is on its way...and Fall 2010 and the PhD are on its heels. Whoa...

Wish I'd had this 26 days ago...

One word: SSAAA-WWWEEEEEETT! Here's another late happy 4th for ya!

I'd have to agree with one of the comments on this video: "Many of us always thought Gene Simmons & the band "KISS" were a bunch of strange people with their faces painted for performances, etc. But it seems we may have been wrong on this issue."

And, to boot: the words of Gene himself: "Simmons... wrote about his love and support for the United States: "I wasn't born here. But I have a love for this country and its people that knows no bounds. I will forever be grateful to America for going into World War II, when it had nothing to gain, in a country that was far away... and rescued my mother from the Nazi German Concentration Camps. She is alive and I am alive because of America. And, if you have a problem with America, you have a problem with me."

Long live the crazy make-up-ed KISS front man, eh? Especially if he's out there supporting our troops. (There's a link at the bottom, just in case this video goes inactive.)

Gene Simmons Military Tribute

I see it as a blessing...most of the time

It's a regular dead horse in church meetings, albeit, a haunting one that deserves the unending strikes. At work it is either my eternal nemesis or my saving grace. Idle Karen can employ it for hours on end, while Dedicated Karen occasionally mans the battle-fronts forging through it.

But, when it comes to communicating with my family, it is nothing less than a great blessing. My siblings have quite the knack for eBanter. Truthfully, I treasure the disgustingly long conversations made possible by my dear friend "reply all". I always laugh hard enough to peak the curiosity of nearby cubie-dwellers...ALWAYS. For me, it allows my family to fill a particularly painful, ever-present void.

Hence, for me, technology is a blessing. Long live the undeniably entertaining family conversations.

It has been a while...

I haven't posted a dance for a while, but this one was so enjoyable! Just a great number. Enjoy (so long as it doesn't get removed...).

(Ya, you have to follow the link. I can't embed...)

Great Dance

A must-see: New Spice

HOLY HILARIOUS, Batman. Seriously. Good Friday fun!
(If you haven't seen the Old Spice commercial, you should probably watch it first here.)

Those kind of memories...

I'm derailing my focus for just a second to give thanks for the kind of memories that make you smile in the busiest of traffic, the least secluded isle of the grocery store, and, most deplorably, in the middle of Sacrament meeting. Those memories that whisk the lucky owner back to the instant of uncontrollable hilarity. Those memories that, during relay to another, require the sympathetic regret, "I wish you could have been there."

Hopefully all of you have, what I like to call, a "Favorite Funny Memory Folder" available for frolicking whenever you so desire. Though, the moments that rip open that memory without your permission are the greatest...and the reason for this rant...

People from various times in my life will understand the following:

• Angel's head in the fan.
• The #53.
  
• Davide and the stairs.
• Me and the stairs.
• "Isshe gonna come in heere, he gonna...".
• Grandma G's comment at dinner last week.
  

You get the idea. And PLEASE, if you can think of others that I may not remember, freely divulge them in the comments. Have at it, friends. I love hilarity.

Hasta luego "Karen Green"...Hola "Ella Azul", eh?

Conozca mi carro nuevo!

Pardon the sucky phone pics, but that's all I've got.


Isn't she pretty? :) I tried to get a good picture of how the shimmer in it shines turquoise in the sun, but, to no avail. Oh well. Take heart in knowing its a gorgeous dark blue with shimmer.

And for those mourning the oh-so-obviously-me green car (believe me, I understand): no, she didn't meet her demise. I simply met the end of the lease. I'm sure some other green-lover will enjoy her too.

Better late than never...

All right, all right. Yes, I'm a little behind on the patriotic post. However, rest assured that my intense love of my country and those who made/make its existence possible is fully in tact. No matter how I try, words fail to express the enormity of such feelings...

Live it. Love it.
Try not to take advantage of it.
The end.

Hecka S.I.C.K.

*Disclaimer: if hip hop ain't yo thang...I can't be held responsible. I love it. Should you decide to watch it anyway, please remember that this kid has NEVER done hip hop before...inconceivable.*

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH, can't express how much I love this! SO great. If you've known me throughout my love of SYTYCD, you are already privy to my adoration for Twitch...let's not go there...

• Love me some Twitch
• Love me some groove
• Love me some Nap y Tab

Roll em all together....Emmy. Money.



Oh, and HECK YA, Alex! Di'in't know ya had it in ya...

Someday.

Someday I will come back to the blogosphere and continue entertaining the masses whilst on the clock...but right now, mi clase de espanol is killing me. Today, the 7th day of class, I have to take a test during lunch on Chapters 1 - 3. That's right. Summer Term sucks. Because of this, I am eating a lunch I prepared last night involving tuna. If you were not privy to this blog when I offered these particular two cents before, read here. Love tuna, not the stench.

Peace out.

Oh YA!

Watched this in mi clase de Espanol today. AWESOME. Love the chills. Everytime.

Truth.

Thank you, RG, for posting this and making my Friday WAY better than expected.

Can't help it. I'm a dancer at heart.

#1. Great moments in art rock my world, to put it plainly. The dancing in this piece is phenomenal. Oddly enough, this is the strangest-styled choreographer (amongst other things) on the show and I usually just put up with her numbers. This R.O.C.K.E.D. As always, the judges pontificate profusely (if I could've chopped out just the dances, I would've). There is no requirement of listening to the last half of the video to appreciate the beauty in this dance. That said, I completely concur with Shankman's remark about the change in the choreographer herself. (Also, shout out to Allison, season 2's all-star from ghetto Orem.)



#2. HAHAHAHAHAH. I have now watched this clip more times than I care to say. This kid SLAYS me. Ah, sweet innocence. Let's hope he stays that way. For a contemporary farm boy from the middle of nowhere, USA: props for surviving this hurdle, kid. THIS is entertaining. Seriously, I've repeatedly giggled myself silly.



Welcome to Summer. Bring on the dancin'!

Sweet Glory Hallelujah!

OH man. Tender mercies. Gracious me. I may tear up here. So, these thesis deadlines have been haunting my life for quite some time, and today, I finally banished them for good! OH MAN. (Don't get over-excited here, I'm no where near done. I just understand the deadlines as they apply to ME for graduating in December now.) I'm so happy I could run a mile! WOO HOO! I just needed to vent somewhere....YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!

Ok, back to the compy, with no pressures! Man, writing is so much easier this way...

Oh the emotion in great music...

Just love it. I just do.

I.R.O.N.Y.

HAHAHAH. I love a day where the regular mish-mosh of the Y makes me cackle out loud at my desk. Today, I got fed up with my office phone (it's been on the fritz for quite some time) and decided to make the dreaded call to OIT for help. None of that really matters...

Except, after the "Welcome to BYU" recording stopped, the hold music blared in my ear, "DUN, DUN DU-DUN!!!!!! DUN, DUN, DU-DUN!!!!!!!" AHAHAHAHAHAH! Good thing I had swallowed the preceding gulp of water already.

BYU always has classical music for their hold music, but "Welcome to BYU" followed immediately by Wagner's Bridal March is pretty much the most hilarious wait music moment ever. EVER. AHAHAHAHAHHA. I'm still laughing. Oh the irony...

Consensus: I believe I will return after the Summer

A whirlwind of story-lines flailing at lightening speed into one neatly tied-off season 1.

Huh.

For me, it was almost over before it began. I usually badger Hulu repeatedly the next day simply to relive my favorite moments. Today, I felt it a necessity to be sure I hadn't missed something.

A blink, and it was over. But a good one. I did like it. I think. No, I did. It was just nothing like what I was expecting. Mucho tears. With that said...

Dear creators,

Please do your show justice next year. Please don't sell out to increasingly nasty trends in TV. Long live McKinley High New Directions 2010-2011. Here's to more fantastic harmonies, beautifully classic hits, hilarious story lines, and less Madge madness. Thanks for the unparalleled entertainment.

Sincerely,
A Gleek Hopeful for Next Year

(Good thing I have SYTYCD to satisfy my craving for the next few weeks.)

I hereby deem...

S & L as darn cute kid makers! These people can keep it up. Official Ella Stamp of Approval granted. How hilariously adorable are these two? One looks just like her mama, and the other looks just like her daddy. Awesome.


Those cheeks!!!

Without further ado....

Ah the joys of Memorial Day with the G fam. Pretty sure Tami said there were 71 of us there, and at last count that was about half of us. Seriously. Thanks T & T for the great party, which served as the crime scene for the following...

You know those rarities in life that induce (yes, Chelle, I thought of the right word finally) laughter spontaneously, proving all other efforts futile? Well, here you go. Feast.

Indeed, the equal but opposite reaction overcomes the participants, and the only byproduct of this equation is "nearly-wet-your-pants" laughter. Awesome. (They're quick. Watch fast.)





Here we see Jeff lose his footing, removing the safety of the fabric for Candace and I. The resultant catapulting g-force is so strong that the opposite runners don't even have time to run. Yes, that's me bouncing in the background. And, props to my dear Candace (who really wanted this video deleted after we all laughed at it for at least 45 minutes) for sailing into history toward the camera, ending her journey with the greatest face-plant ever. The only one left standing is her husband, Whit, who incidentally, fell over laughing right after. Seriously hilarious.




We see a similar occurrence here when Sam slips onto his can as Will and James continue running, thereby launching Daniel 3 feet into the air. Too bad his feet are tangled in 5 yds of lycra. Another great ending.

See. Told you these videos would make you giggle while you watch them repeatedly. Go on. Hit it again. You know you want to... Happy Wednesday.

(I have got to get me one of these...)

Teaser

In lieu of a forth-coming video guaranteed to make you giggle as you uncontrollably hit replay multiple times, I will give you the following:

• Me.
• My family.
• Sprinting.
• 5 yds of Lycra.
• Newton's 3rd law of motion.

You do the math.

(And anxiously await hilarity at its finest...)

New hero

I always knew this guy was top notch. I mean, pleading with the Lord and having him grant your wishes to keep your language in tact, successfully taking instruction to build water vessels, seeing His finger make stones shine endlessly...this is one seriously cool guy.

Now, I'm pretty sure building vessels that are tight like unto a dish cannot be easy. And, given that these suckers were the as long as a tree is tall...whoa. That probably seemed insurmountable to him and his brother at times.

Last night, however, a different part of the story hit me:

Ether 2:24 For behold, ye shall be as a whale in the midst of the sea; for the mountain waves shall dash upon you. Nevertheless, I will bring you up again out of the depths of the sea; for the winds have gone forth out of my mouth, and also the rains and the floods have I sent forth.

He knew how heinous the trip would be...but he still did it. In a completely submerged, tree length, air-tight boat. Hero.

(Ah the joys of daily scripture study...thanks for the pep talk M.M.)

The ballot is in...

Hmmmm. I have mixed feelings. For a Gaga tribute, it was relatively normal. In fact, I down right enjoyed the first number. But, seriously? A mother/daughter Poker Face? Weird. But gorgeous. As for the story lines...I'd have to agree with TE: enough with the highlighting Kurt's choices. Move on and just crank out the great music, please.

My fave line: "How'd your dads come up with the name Rachel?" "They were big FRIENDS fans." LOVE that my two favorite shows are linked.

(Bring on Regionals. Can't wait for it...next week looks all sorts of crazy.)

Some days...

"Some days, it doesn't pay to get out of bed." I've heard this said countless times in my life. Today, I'm living it.

Exhibit A: This is the sight that greeted me in P-town this morning, on the 24th day of May, 2010.


That's right. Three inches of snow at my house. What the? Should have walked right back into my house, marched up to my bed, and climbed back in.

Exhibit B: At 11:51 AM, I received an email that began like this:
"Dear Karen,

Your application has been reviewed. Unfortunately..."

Need I go on? Remember my snooty post a while back about formalities? Here we go again. Thanks for wasting my time again, Y.

Exhibit C: (no pic available) Today, I'm fighting with Comcast. They're doing a digital conversion next month, which is great and all, except they forgot to tell any of us what in the free world to do to prep for it. Sure, they emailed me two months ago, but have they done anything since? Nope. Then, on Saturday, the creepy warnings of TV death scrolled across the bottom of my screen. Whatev. I slammed the chat-room door in my virtual Comcast analyst's face about a minute ago. Completely unhelpful. Seriously. Maybe I should put Kate on the case...

So, here I sit, at 12:36 PM, comatose in my cubie. Revving up the neurons needed to turn the page on the DU paper today, I see this...


This kid, 13 years old, climbed Everest. Really? I'm pretty sure I was barely surviving simple conversations with boys, having finally mastered the urge to wear only full-on sweatsuits to school, and memorizing a list of prepositions for Austin's English class. Not climbing the highest peaks of the world. That's it. Where's my bed?